Still Here

I am still here. Still trying to get in shape and lose a few pounds. I have been exercising but eating has been so so. I am good for a few weeks and bad for a few weeks. So of course that is not conducive to losing weight. I have to get this weight off; it has been too long. I am up to 130. I need to be at MOST 115. Less would be better. 

I am having heart pain. The doctor diagnosed pericarditis about two years ago. Ever since then it comes and goes. It stays for a couple weeks, then gets better for a couple weeks. I get depressed when I have chest pain. It feels like I don't have my health anymore. And I can't exercise too strenuously or I feel like it might make things worse for my heart. And I worry that if this continues, it will damage my heart. But there is no definitive cause and no quick cure. Anti-inflammatories.  It is hard to focus on diet and exercise when my chest hurts and I worry about my health. I feel depressed. Pericarditis can be caused by a virus. I am thinking back to when I had pneumonia twice in 2009. That was the same year as the swine flu. I wasn't diagnosed with swine flu, but maybe I had it. I'm thinking that maybe the pericarditis is a complication of the swine flu or whatever virus I had in 2009. Because it started the second time I got sick. Just my thoughts.

No good news about weight loss.

OK. So I am not doing well right now in the weight loss department. I don't have my eating under control. Too many sweets. The 3 pounds or so that I lost, I've gained back so I'm back at square one. Losing weight is hard. I'm just not getting a handle on it. I get side tracked very easily. I feel like I am being pulled in too many directions. I have trouble focusing. I'm constantly interrupted which makes me lose my focus, which makes me want to give up. So no good news to report sadly. I am getting my chest pain checked out at the doctor. So far, tests come back normal. Maybe that means it is stress.

Just a quick note

Just a quick note to talk about the gap in posts on this blog between Dec 2009 and now. They were a really difficult, despairing, and despondent two years. Mostly because of the stress of the economy. Both my husband and I work in the housing/construction sector and both our jobs/employers were HIT HARD and AT THE SAME TIME. In addition, my husband's employer was experiencing personal problems that added additional uncertainty to his job security. Over at my job, we lost about 50% of our work force. I saw two grown men cry over losing their jobs. Let's just say, it STUNK! I can't stress enough how stressful a time it was for us both.

To add stress to our already stressed out lives, I decided to change careers and am currently facing significant uncertainty over future finances.

Mostly, the lack of posts was due to me being in school. I pretty much focused on that and unfortunately many things that I enjoyed doing I didn't have time for. Regrettably, I didn't get to spend as much time with my kids which hurts the most. I am finished with school until next fall. But next fall, I plan not to let school take away from my family. I just don't want to do that again. At all.

February

I lost a pound and a half. It is not much and it is much less than my January goal of four to five pounds, but . . . . . . I am feeling more energy and I think my stomach is smaller. I can tell I'm getting in shape. I just need to keep going.

I am doing mostly cardio with some circuit training. I want to start weight training again. I miss it and I miss the feeling of strength and balance that I get from it. I like to be able to lift groceries and heavy things and take giant steps up on high places and feel my legs just power right up on the high step without any strain at all. I used to be able to do that. There is a high wall at a local park and I used to be able to just step right up there. It was because I was weight training. Now I feel all wobbly. My strength is gone and (this surprises me) my balance is not as good. So, all that to say I need to get back into it. I always hated to weight train my legs because it is so HARD but I have to say, I think it does the most good on my body. Running eats muscle so leg training is good. I just feel more balanced when I train my legs. Plus, they look a little better. :)

So, that's the update.

January Start

I have started to try and lose this weight. I did ok with my eating this week. I am starting slow. I exercised three times this week. Hopefully it won't be too hard to lose this weight.

My plan is to lose 4 pounds in January. For most people, this is no problem, but history has shown that I practically have to starve myself to lose a pound a week. My body does not gain weight easy but it also doesn't lose weight easy. It strives to stay right where it is!

My eating was so bad that it should be easy at first to clean up my eating. It really was horrendous! Like just eating one dessert a day would be an improvement! :) So, at first it shouldn't be so hard to eat cleaner but I imagine it will get harder the cleaner that I get.

I started back to exercising about two months ago. I started with just cardio and I already notice an improvement in my energy levels, stress levels (lower), sleep (better), and endurance (better). I feel so much better when I exercise. I plan on adding circuits in a week or two to ease back into weight training.

I took "before" measurements and pictures. O . . . . My . . . . . . Nobody should see that!

Puff!

These past two years have been a strange blur. I don't feel like myself. I decided to go back to school to become a teacher and it has taken over my life. School pushed my fitness off my radar. I gained 17 pounds over the last two years. Now I weigh only about 6 pounds less then when I was 9 months pregnant, full term. . . . Yeah. . . .I'm out of breath a lot and can't climb steps without huffing and puffing. My hands also swell. In short, I'm a puff! A puff muffin.

Sick

I got pnumonia again and a sinus infection. It's been really tough. I've been sick for three weeks. Needless to say I am not exercising. But I am trying to eat lots of vegetable and fruits and take my vitamins. I was about 121.5 when I first got sick. Now I am about 117.5. The weight loss is from being sick. I am also a little depressed. I can't do much right now. Just surviving.