Still Here

I am still here. Still trying to get in shape and lose a few pounds. I have been exercising but eating has been so so. I am good for a few weeks and bad for a few weeks. So of course that is not conducive to losing weight. I have to get this weight off; it has been too long. I am up to 130. I need to be at MOST 115. Less would be better. 

I am having heart pain. The doctor diagnosed pericarditis about two years ago. Ever since then it comes and goes. It stays for a couple weeks, then gets better for a couple weeks. I get depressed when I have chest pain. It feels like I don't have my health anymore. And I can't exercise too strenuously or I feel like it might make things worse for my heart. And I worry that if this continues, it will damage my heart. But there is no definitive cause and no quick cure. Anti-inflammatories.  It is hard to focus on diet and exercise when my chest hurts and I worry about my health. I feel depressed. Pericarditis can be caused by a virus. I am thinking back to when I had pneumonia twice in 2009. That was the same year as the swine flu. I wasn't diagnosed with swine flu, but maybe I had it. I'm thinking that maybe the pericarditis is a complication of the swine flu or whatever virus I had in 2009. Because it started the second time I got sick. Just my thoughts.