Sick

I got pnumonia again and a sinus infection. It's been really tough. I've been sick for three weeks. Needless to say I am not exercising. But I am trying to eat lots of vegetable and fruits and take my vitamins. I was about 121.5 when I first got sick. Now I am about 117.5. The weight loss is from being sick. I am also a little depressed. I can't do much right now. Just surviving.

Update

I have been on such a emotional roller coaster with regards to my job. One day the economy looks good and my job is going well and the next day, things are looking bleak. I am getting tired of it.

I did get to run in a 1 mile race about a week ago. I had a really good time. It has been a long time since I did a race and it was so fun! My time was 8:57 which is not really good BUT I looked back at some old races that I have done in the past. 12 years ago I did a mile race in 8:56 when I was 12 YEARS younger. So I thought that was good that I haven't lost much in 12 years. But most importantly I had a blast! There is a 5k coming up in a couple of weeks that I would like to do.

My diet is not going super good right now. I haven't been focusing on that and my desire is not there. I just don't seem to care right now for some reason. It does feel good not too worry about it too much but then other times I feel like I'm "out of control" in some way. It is kind of weird, I don't know how to explain it.

Here's a pic from vacation.

Write Something would Ya!

Gah! I should write something. It's halfway through June. I did make it to 120.0. But only for a day. Gah! Then back up to 121.0 I need to shoot for 119.0 now.

I haven't exercised for a week. I became disorganized last week and busy with my family. Well I finally got to run tonight. And I was like the energizer bunny, wanting to keep going and going. It felt sooo good after being off for so long. I sooo needed it. Ahh.

I have a deadline at work that I am working on. THat always makes me lose focus a little on my clean eating. I am a stress eater. Blah.

I am sooo loving summer but I feel like I am trying to squeeze all my fun stuff that I want to do into 3 short months. I need to RELAX but I am too busy trying to have fun!

Well I have to go tuck my girls into bed!

Tuesday

Well I usually plan what I am going to write but I'm doing this on the fly. I am feeling very motivated and things are going well. My starting weight was 121.0. At the end of the first week it is still hovering between 121.0 and 121.5 so I am trying to kick it up a notch this week or should I say kick it down, meaning eating less this week. This morning I was down to 120.5. My goal is 120.0 by Saturday!

This week's new recipies are 1) rice and sweet potato and 2) califlower salad. Both are all carbs. What I am eating right now is three meals with a good amount of protein in them and then 2 snacks that are more carbs. I am not worrying about eating protein with every meal, just eating all clean. And drinking lots of water.

I thought since my rotating workout scheme was working out so well in that I am enjoying the variety, why can't I do that with my eating? So I did. I have three "menus", A, B and C. And I rotate, like this.

Week 1 Menu A
Week 2 Menu A
Week 3 Menu B
Week 4 Menu C
Repeat

I am only in week 2 right now. Week three should be pms week, so I plan to eat a few more carbs and week 4 should be non pms, feeling good so I will cut back on the carbs. Seemed like a good idea, I'll let you know how it works.

What am I up to?

I have been doing well with eating my vegetables and fruits and protein. I had a lot of spinach today! I have decided to do a 12 week Body for Life, starting yesterday. I did one before and only had moderate success. But I am trying again. Starting weight is 121.0 First goal weight is 115.0. I plan some modifications like increasing vegetables and maybe decreasing some of the carbs. Also I need more than one rest day, so I plan to combine two workouts (a weight lifting one and a cardio) into one day.

It is hard to think about how good I looked last summer and how I look now. Yesterday, I almost started to cry because as I was doing dumbbell bent-over rows to work my back, all I could think about was my back fat squeezing together instead of focusing on my muscles:( Sigh.

Oh well.

My food for today was:

1: cereal, milk, protein shake, coffee
2: watermelon, protein shake
3: chicken & spinach salad with dressing
4: spinach, brocoli & pasta salad
5: chicken drumstick, cornbread, hershey chocolate bar, sm. piece of brownie
Lots of water today

Yeah, I kind of goofed on meal 5. I know what happened. I was STARVING when I got home from work and while I was waiting for the chicken and cornbread to get done cooking I ate some brownie and a half of a chocolate bar. I just couldn't wait. Then I ate the other half after dinner because well I'd already blew it.

I HAVE to have food available when I am dieting because when meal times roll around, I am HUNGRY!

Also I want to try two new recipies a week. At the end of 12 weeks, I should have 24 new recipies. This week I made:
1: Spinach, chicken & avacado salad with homemade dressing (olive oil, lime juice, honey, paprika). Very yummy but it needed a pinch of salt.
2. Brocoli, spinach & pasta salad with feta cheese and lite italian dressing. Very yummy also.

Also I am teaching my 7-year old and 9-year old girls how to cook. They LOVE it! They get to pick out the menu and then we cook it together. They are really helping me in the kitchen. My 9-year now comes up and asks me if I need any help in the kitchen! I hope it stays that way!

New Post

Since I am home today with a sick child, I have time to write. I am feeling good mentally. Just like the economy, the fast downward spiral in my poor eating has slowed and is showing signs of improvement but in order to get it turned around completely it’s going to take some more effort on my part. :)

Once again Laura http://mamameltdown.blogspot.com/ has posted another blog that I want to mention about giving up sugar. I too need to cut out the sugar! I seem to be having some health problems that may be related to my poor eating. I think I have a yeast infection. Sorry if that is TMI. The thing is, in my 39 years, I have only ever had one yeast infection and that was specifically because I was on antibiotics for an extended time. Also I have this sore thing on my side. YUCK. I know. I am gross. It is tiny though. I think maybe it is from chaffing from my bra or something and that it got infected. It is taking FOREVER to get better. Anyway I am reading that skin infections can be cause by poor eating. It may not be my poor eating, maybe I’m just getting old and am falling apart! LOL But it got me thinking. WebMD says some of these things (yeast infections and skin infections) can be due to an impaired immune system. I’m sure eating more vegetables and fruits and cutting out the excessive sugar would help my immune system.

Here is my eating plan for today.

Breakfast: oatmeal (w/protein powder) packet (reduced sugar), orange
Morning snack: 1 oz. leftover steak, 1c vegetables
Lunch: ½ cup vegetables, Healthy Choice frozen dinner
Afternoon Snack: ½ scoop protein powder (no carbs), apple, ½ TBSP peanut butter
Workout
Post workout shake (1/2 scoop)
Dinner: 2 oz pork, mashed potatoes (plain) 1 ½ c vegetables, decaf tea

I know there is room for improvement in the meal plan. Like regular oatmeal instead of a packet and no frozen dinner for lunch (make homemade lunch) but like I said above, I am not there yet. This is an improvement over past days which might look like this:

Breakfast: frosted mini-wheats and waffle with syrup
Morning snack: sf yogurt, 3 hersheys chocolate nuggets
Lunch: Healthy Choice frozen dinner, cookie, 5 hersheys chocolate nuggets
Afternoon Snack: more Hersheys chocolate nuggets or other candy
Workout
No post workout shake
Dinner: 1 oz. pork, mashed potatoes, buttered bread, large ice cream Sunday

So as you can see, no wonder I’m having health problems! All carbs, hardly any protein or vegetables and too much junk. Gah! I’m going a little crazy with the chocolate. I’m not even enjoying it anymore. So my goal has been to eat AT LEAST two servings of vegetables and one serving of fruit a day, eat more (but not gobs) of protein and remember my post workout shake. Once I get this under control, I may get even cleaner than that. I am hesitant to get too strict with my eating because I think I have sort of “rebounded” from my strict eating when I do that.

Moving on to workouts. Right now I have an awesome schedule that I really like. It looks like this:

Week 1 (bodybuilding type schedule “A”)
Monday: Legs, Abs
Tuesday: Chest, 30 min cardio
Wednesday: Off
Thursday: Shoulders, Abs, 30 minutes of cardio
Friday: Back
Saturday: Arms, 30 minutes of cardio

Then I switch it up a bit.
Week 2 (Bodybuilding type schedule “B”)
Monday: Shoulders, Back
Tuesday: Legs, 30 min cardio
Wednesday: Off
Thursday: Chest, Abs, 30 minutes of cardio
Friday: Arms
Saturday: Abs, 30 minutes of cardio

Week 3 (back to bodybuilding type schedule A again)

Week 4 (full body circuit type training)
Monday: Full body circuit type weight training
Tuesday: 30 min cardio, no weights
Wednesday: Off
Thursday: full body circuit type weight training
Friday: 30 min cardio, no weights
Saturday: 30 min cardio, no weights

Week 5 I repeat the cycle only starting with bodybuilding workout “B”

So like this:
A, B, A, circuit, B, A, B, circuit and so on.

My current cardio of choice is running! Because it is Summa . . . summa . . . summaTIME!! I enjoy being outdoors as much as possible these days.

This schedule works because it has LOTS of variety, which I love. And it allows me to do some running which I also love. And it gives me 2 rest days per week, which my body really seems to need. There is not much cardio in there I know but it works for me. To be honest I rarely do ALL of my workouts but if I shoot for 5 days a week and only workout 3, I have STILL done 3 workouts per week which is still good for health, which is a BIG part of what I am going for. I write my workouts on my calendar a week in advance.

Oh, and since I got sick (flu) in the spring, I got behind in my training for the YMCA pump and run so I don’t think I will be able to do it but I still will do some of the other runs that I planned.

Geeze I wrote a book today. Just imagine how much writing I could do if I was home all the time! Well I’d better go.

Motivation

Laura (http://mamameltdown.blogspot.com/) wrote an excellent blog about motivation!

In the past, as a child, a teenager, college student and young adult, I have always been very internally self-motivated. Unfortunately for me, several years ago, somewhere in my middle adulthood I slowly began to lose my motivation.

2 Thessalonians 3:13 says "But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good." Unfortunately that is EXACTLY where I am at. I am tired of "doing good." And I have lost my motivation, not just in fitness and health (ironically just when I need it the most! I turn 40 this year) but I have lost motivation in most all areas of life. Job, finances, home, fitness, etc.

Fortunately I recognize my need to get it back.

How or why this happened I really don't know for sure. I could guess. Maybe it is a pride thing. If someone is not patting me on the back saying what a good job I am doing, I don't want to do it. Funny though, I never needed approval before so I'm not sure that is it. Maybe it is a character test for me; What do I do when no one is watching? Do I eat right even when no one but me cares? Do I go the extra mile at work when there is no tangible reward? Perhaps that is it. Maybe it is an attack by devil to get me to give up, give in, let go of my standards. "No one cares, so why should you?" he says. (I hear that question constantly in my head.) Or perhaps I don't spend enough time with like-minded self-motivated optimistic-type individuals. That is very probable!:)

But maybe the hows and whys this has happened are not important. Which brings me to Laura's blog about motivation. She says that rather than waiting to be pulled by motivation, be the push of motivation. Awesome. I don't need to figure out the why, I need to just Do. Her quote at the end is excellent. "What you want to be eventually you must be every day."

So for the rest of my life starting with the next 10 weeks,
. . . . . . .
I commit to eating healthy,
I commit to losing 10 pounds (this may take longer than 10 weeks)
I commit to exercising at least 4 days a week,
I commit to feeding my family healthy dinners at least 4 days a week,
I commit to walking my dog at least 3 days a week,
I commit to not overspending at the grocery store,
I commit to being a more patient and "present in the moment" mother,
I commit to not letting the kid's whining, the pressure of time, dissappointments in myself and others, or discontentment with my perceived progress lead me to overeating,
I commit to never giving up and not letting the haters, the doubters, they naysayers and pessimists win!

It is worth it and it does count, even if it only counts for me.

Feeling Good but Getting Fat

Yes, I do mean I'm getting fat. Wow.

I am fully recovered from being sick. I am actually feeling great. And I have been working out again. I would like to do more running so I am working up to a continuous 30 minutes of running. The race that I wanted to run in at the end of May, I don't think I have enough time to train for. But I am still training.

But my eating is atrocious right now. I am eating everything in site. A lots of sweets. I actually bought a full sugar soda the other day. I haven't drank non-diet soda in probably years. It's like I don't care right now. My problem is I definitely have an all or nothing attitude. If I can't be perfect in my diet or I don't have the perfect body, I go completely in the other direction. And I just give up completely. It is so the wrong attitude. I have seen where eating at least semi-healthy DOES help me not get super fat, it just doesn't get me the perfect fit dream body that I desire. The only way to get my super body (which I've never achieved yet but got very close) is to be really strict with my eating, which I am not interested in. But I could eat semi-healthy and have a semi-healthy body and a semi-dream body, which frankly a semi-dream body appeals to me right now because my squishy, buldging belly body right now is hard to move in. I'm WISHING I had the body that I was UNHAPPY with a year ago. It wasn't as bad as I have now. It is actually VERY UNCOMFORTABLE moving around in my body right now. It feels weird to have the extra flab where there was none before.

Hanging in there

Hello. I have still been sick. I am over my pnumonia but I still have chest pain, shortness of breath and fatigue. My doctor thinks it will just take time. But I am going to a lung specialist next week. I haven't exercised since the end of January. I don't have energy to get through my regular day let alone exercise. I lost 9 pounds being sick but I am holding steady with my weight now. I actually don't want to lose any more weight because it is due to being sick and is not healthy weight loss. So I am happy that I am not losing any more right now.

I'm hanging in there. But it has been a long road. So I will see what next week brings.

Pnumonia

Finally the last week in January, I got my act together diet-wise. Also exercise was good. I didn't lose anything that last week though which frankly surprised me a little. But I was getting into the groove of things.

But then I got the flu which turned into pnumonia. So that is what I have/am recovering from right now. My lungs are still sore. I don't have any risk factors for getting pnumonia, I am not a smoker, I don't have astma, etc. So I don't know why I got it. It is kind of scary. I am feeling better but it will be a while until I can exercise. I want to have NO pain in my lungs before I exercise and I am not there yet. I lost 5.5 lbs from the flu and pnumonia. I wouldn't recommend the flu diet though. It's pretty miserable.

So much for my nice exercise plan all written down and planned out on my calendar! I'll tell you what though. Really I am thankful just to be healthy and get better. With all the horror stories I could think about, I just want to get better.

Gained a Pound

Yeah. My first week did not go very well. I am just dreading doing it. Eating healthy does get easier the longer you do it. It is just the transition, that first week where you feel like crap because you are hungry, and craving and feel weak and tired because you are eating a lot less than you used to. The good thing is that I haven't been overeating. I have been low on energy lately. I want to get my thyroid checked by my doctor but I haven't got around to it. Blah. I am just full of excuses. But I did want to be honest and check in.

I looked back on my pregancy journal from my second child. My current weight is only 5 pounds less that when I was full term pregnant. Ack! That's bad. So I really need to do something.

My workouts have been good and I am enjoying them.

Start Day!

Actually yesterday was Start Day, but I didn't get to post until today! Yes I am starting again eating right and exercising. Yesterday was a Great day. I got a good workout in and ate terrific. Today I got a good workout in and ate good until this evening. I did not eat enough during the day and I was STARVING and cooking dinner at the same time. Well I picked on things I shouldn't have picked on just because I couldn't wait until my food was cooked. It will take me a day or two to get it all worked out again.

I went to Florida for the holidays. My parents live in West Palm Beach. My whole family was there except for my one brother. It was great but I did a lot of damage food wise. At one point my mom gave me the job of unwrapping the hershey kisses for the peanut butter blossom cookies that she was making. Ack!! I ate my mom's cookies every day! That is why I didn't even want to bother starting until after the holiday. I knew a week in my Mom's house with a load of home baked goodies would be too hard.

I made a nice goal poster with all my workouts posted on it. My husband said that if I work half as hard on my diet and exercise as I did on the poster, I will be doing great! He was making fun of my goal poster:) My husband asked me if I was going to get my bikini body back by spring. I said yes! He is really giving me a hard time about my weight. He still loves me of course but he is not used to seeing me this way.

Onward and upward.
Scale weight today: 121 lb (I was 112 this past summer)