Execute the Plan!

Like I said in my previous post, I haven't been eating well recently. So I have been wondering WHY I can’t EXECUTE my plan and what is stopping me.I’ve got the “Set dreams/goals” step down right. . . . . . I’ve got the “Make a plan/have accountability” step down. . . . So all that is left is the “EXECUTE THE PLAN” step. . . . . now hear the crickets chirping . . . . . I don’t mean to be funny because it isn’t funny but that is exactly what is going on with me right now.So I ask myself WHY. Am I self-sabotaging? Am I afraid? Do I feel selfish for wanting to do this? Shallow even? For me, I have come up with some possible explanations. The main one is that I DON’T VALUE losing weight enough to actually do it. The reason is because it actually goes AGAINST some of my values to lose weight. I know that sounds crazy so I will explain.I very much believe in the value of MODERATION in most things. Obviously there are exceptions to every rule, but in a lot of things, (and I think eating comes in this category) practicing moderation is a valuable thing. And here’s the thing. I DON’T think that losing “those last 10 or 20 lbs” can be done with moderation in eating. I think it DOES require some “extremeness” and I struggle with that. I read the extreme things that dieters have to do to get where they want to go. I also read the article “No Turning Back” by Olesya Novik on the Muscle with Attitude site. /url=http://www.musclewithattitude.com/readArticle.do?id=1803054] That is NOT moderation. So this is a big road block for me and I haven’t been able to overcome this hurdle in my thinking.Secondly, I value the OPPOSITE of self-absorption and obsessiveness. I value serving others. I fear becoming self-absorbed and/or obsessive while dieting. I don’t think that losing “those last 10 or 20 lbs” can be done without becoming at least partially self-absorbed and somewhat obsessive and I’m not OK with that either. I also have fears. I fear slowing down my metabolism. And I actually think I fear success! I think I fear attention from men!! Honestly I get a little sick of women telling me they hate me because I not “fat” and men staring at me.So those seem to be my reasons. Going against my values of moderation and putting others first and not being obsessed with my own goals. And my fears of slowing my metabolism, fear of being the target of hate from women and gawking from men.If I could overcome these mental hurdles I think I could succeed. I think that is what is stopping me.