A Dangerous Place To Be

I am demoralized at work right now and it is spilling over into my fitness pursuits. What I SHOULD be doing is being successful at my fitness pursuits and having my fitness success spill over into my work! But these words come to mind when I think about work; pointless, futile, useless, wasted, fruitless. The words that SHOULD come to mind should be words like; valuable, meaningful, useful, worthwhile, and helpful.

So what am I talking about? What is the problem? Since I am a civil engineer, I will explain with some “Equations for My Life” :)

woman with brains + 15 years of experience in her field + woman who can stand with the best of them (the boys) – woman who hates confrontations – woman who never planned on being a “trail blazer” = a woman who shrinks back + woman with unrealized potential

And,

woman working in a traditional male profession + woman with lack of self-confidence = Bad combination + getting nowhere + a woman who (doesn't want to) but contributes to negative stereotypes of women

“It” = Prejudice that I shouldn’t be in this profession and that I don’t REALLY know anything.

Coping Mechanism = Pretending “It” doesn’t exist + Ignoring “It”

Pretending “It” doesn’t exist + Being smacked upside the head with “it” unexpectedly = Depressed = Eat

Oh and yes, let’s get lean, ripped and sexy. That ought to help my case!

And so I am in The Dangerous Place To Be

The Dangerous Place to Be = Don’t Care = Ruin Your Health and Jeopardize Your Job

Why don’t I care about eating right and exercising? Why don’t I care about doing a good job at work? I’ve always cared before but I find myself not caring right now. It is a slippery slope, letting things slide here and there. A missed workout, a missed deadline. A half-hearted workout, a half-hearted attempt at a memo for work. I sit alone in my cubical, where what I do doesn’t matter.

I MUST STOP IT, SOMEWAY, SOMEHOW.

Some things I have considered are;
The self-help view: I teach people how to treat me. I have an opinion of myself and that opinion influences/translates into how I am treated and what I will accept or not accept from others. I need to have a better opinion of myself.

A biblical view: God has loved me as a sinner and given me grace. Then I take that grace and love and extend it to others, even when it is hard. I may not always get treated how I expect to be treated. I should be patient with others.

Or another biblical view: God is a just God. He is fair and just. So if it is in my power to act, (to right a wrong, seek justice), I should. I should not remain silent. I am His hands and feet.

Real World = No Easy Answers

I’ll let you know if I figure out any answers as soon as I figure it out.